My son Jaylen

7 weeks ago my wonderful son jaylen came in the world, came in at 7lbz 15oz and 19 inches. I think that had to have been the happiest moment of my life. Even tho i was soo anti-kids b4 i got pregnant, im juss sooo damn happy that i have one of my own.
when i found out i was expecting i knew that day my life would change forever! it was soo many emotions that rushed on me all at once. u know what the hardest thing to do after finding that ur expecting a baby?? telling the two main influencial ppl that ur gonna have a baby! tellin jays dad had of been the hardest thing i could have ever done! i mean we wasent even messin wit eachother that long for me to even been pregnant (soo naiive)! sooo when i told him it wasent the best reaction i could have gotten out of him. i mean his life is fent to change as well as mine...i mean mine more than his but still his life wont be the same! Anyways he wanted me to get rid of it and i really couldnt do that since abortions are not glorified in my religion. I support life no matter if it was planned or not! i couldnt go back on my religous stance and kill something God himself blessed me to have especially when theres women out there that can not even have babies...sooo i decided that we should put him up for adoption...he hated that idea! His response to me was that "if i was to have a baby i would want to see him and i wouldnt want anyone else to raise my child." So if i couldnt get the abortion and he didnt want to put him up for adoption then the only route thats left on this road was to raise our baby.
i made the decision to make sure that my son will never see me cry over a man or over something that isnt worth me crying over...his father is my heart and my world but im the type of female that needs to be treated juss like how he wanted to be treated! But since i was pregnant i couldnt really get anything out of him, no answers on how he felt about me havin the baby or me in general! sooo we stopped talkin and the first 5 months of my pregnancy i didnt hear from him AT ALL!! i think that was somethin that really broke me! he claimed he loved me and now i cant even get in contact wit him...finally around my 6th month i got in contact wit him. looked like he was tryin to get his head together but not really...lol
to have a baby alone is a horrible feeling...
anyways im finally at my ninth month and im super anxious to have my son in my arms...the da b4 he was due i wasent havin any contractions and that concerned me but shit that early morning of the 14th of nov. my contractions hit me soo hard! i went in to the hospital around 3am and he was born at 9:42am..i had about a 6, almost 7 hr labor...and only did about 4 or 5 pushes...and my son was in my arms! i couldnt cry cause it was soo many emotions all a once but trust me i was sooo happy!
soo now @ 2 weeks later hes the sweetest baby and im not juss sayin that cause hes mine but because he really is the sweetest baby i ever met! i love him wit all my body and soul and i promised him that i would do everything in my power to make him happy!
as far as his daddy..we dont know what hes thinkin about rt now!!