when it hurts by avant

can u take me telling you the truth when i know the situation looks shady
believe me when i say i knew that u would be trippin soo sllipped out in my ride in the driveway soo before we get into something we dont need to get into (im gonna need ur undivided attention, cause its fantasy and reality)
baby which one are we living in?


when it hurts will we still be, the same two lovers all over eachother.
when it hurts will we still see, why we got together, promise that we'd never be temporary (uh huh) ordinary (uh huh)
we should change the definations ppl of love.
soo forget what u heard
the only way that this will work is to love me when it hurts.

** these are my favorite two verses of this song, i mean dont get me wrong this whole damn song hits my soul like an arrow. i mean when it hurts are u gonna still love me? or are u gonna walk away wit no answers to any of ur questions.
cause honestly anything worth havin is really worth fighting for.

U gOt it BAD!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh! NOw this sOng by usher is really hittin hOme fOr me.

LOve is One strOng emOtiOn and its hOnest that u juss can't turn it On Or Off. I mean shhheeessshhh there has been nights where I've called and I wOuld hang up cause I wOuld lOse my whOle thOught and I wOuld instantly get nervOus abOut talkin tO him. Ha! SIMP IS WHAT U CAN CALL ME!

Even still almOst 2 yrs later I still get nervOus. I'd still try tOo avOid callin him cause I hate ackward silence. What can I say when u find sOmeOne that gives u chills then that's hOw u act. All u want tO dO is impress them and make them like u mOre than they dO already.

Its a hOrrible nOw that I think abOut it. Cause ur heart really gets brOken and strange things cOme Out Of that.
I mean lOok @ lauren hill the mOst talented in the game @ her time. PhenOmoenal musician. She gOt her heart brOken and nOw she's sOo far gOne she turned her back On the music. She turned her back On the Ones [me] that needed her music. Her music be pullin me Out. NOw I'm stuck where she @. But that's what a brOkenheart dOes tO u. It makes u wanna dO stupid ish.

Happines is truely my sanity is sOo tru tO me. And I think I won't stOp until I get it. And I fall intO this "I'll settle fOr anyOne that makes me happy" attitude and there's where I fall @.

Ugh! Its clear I gOt it bad. SmH

RnB is the music tO my life . . .

I'm trippin cause these rnb sOngs tOday relate tO me in sOo many ways. Ugh! Its a trip cause the sOng "trust" by keyshia cOle and mOnica. I swear that sOng is a seriOus feeling I'm feeling rt nOw. I juss want him tO be able tO trust me and knO that its wit him I'm tryna be true and faithful tOo.

"Have my baby" by llyOd. Old jam but shit I mean that's enOugh said. Haha. I mean damn!

I be singin alOng and really be feelin it cause that's hOw I be feeling. Lol

"COme Over" by estelle and sean paul. That ish is a hOt/chill jOint. Very sexy. I mean cOme Over sOo I can shOw u what u been missin. Isn't that what she's really sayin? Ha! I wanna be able tO juss tell a nigga that and see what he dO. Oh wait I did. And I was still by myself that night. Hahah shame! Its kOo thO! [:-D]

"Treat u gOod" by llOyd. Nuff said rt? This nigga keeps it real and gets tOo the pOint. Can u say bOut his?? Ha! I'm dOwn wit this nigga.

OMG. SOo I went tO my hOmebOys hOuse tO blOw sOmething in the air and chill and wOrk On sOme music.. Ummmm I gOt a lil crush On him. Hahahah. Okay sOo clearly the way tO my heart is thru my music and ur music. And his music is hOt like fiaaaaaa!

I'm drOwnin in the pOol Of sexy talented men. Hahaha

Off tO wOrk I gO! Thanks fOr reading.

wOnder y I even dO it tO myself. . .

I'm stuck between a rOck and hard place.
I can't seem tO find myself, cause I'm always cOncern'd abOut hOw I make ppl feel.
Y I dO the ish I dO. Is Only because Of my sOn and his well being is the Only thing that I'm cOncern'd abOut.
But the failure tO disrepect me and tO let sOmeOne else disrespect me has tO stOp. I cOnstently argue wit myself because I'm wOrried that sOon imma settle fOr anything.
I knO what I want. He knOws he's wat I want. SOo if there's sOmeOne that's willing tO give u all Of them and willing tO step Outside themselves tO satisfy u, why wOuld u ignOre that? Why wOuld waste their time and give them false hOpe?
Y make them feel like their the Only One? When u knO that their nOt!
What's mOre embarrassing abOut the situatiOn is that u sit and wOnder what they are saying tO them tO make them want tO keep gOin back tO them.
Are they talkin negative abOut u, because they knO if they talk pOsitive abOut u then they'll feel really bad because they knO that ur the Only One that will sit and take ur shit. They knO that ur the Only One that lOves ur flaws juss as much as ur talents and ur ambitiOns. That even if they didn't want u tO dO Or gO sOmewhere that they will still suppOrt u nO matter what.
Ugh! I don't even knO why I put myself thrOugh it! I don't knO why I sit and actually wait fOr his call, like he really is gOnna call like he says he is.

There's sOo much ish I can't even explain. Because the Old tiffani nicole is clearly gOne. And I don't understand where she went. The crazy thing is I don't knO if her being gOne is fOr the gOod Or the bad. Ugh! What is there fOr me tO dO but pray and I'm lOst really I am. I juss really want tO be happy! DAMN I'M INTITLED TO THAT RIGHT?

Were building . . . ?!

What does that mean exactly?? what does "tiff, were building right now" mean?!

tonight i had one of the best convo's with my BD. we actually talked about ish. had a decent conversation. shared how we really felt about some ish.
but the one thing that really caught my ear was that "tiff, were building right now"

Over this past year, ive tried to really think about what ive done to make him not really like me anymore. or why he was sooo mad at me. when i got preggo things changed sooo much between us. partially because we barely knew eachother and now we were bringing someone else into the world. i soon found out that he was dating someone else. but since we were NOT together i could only tell him how i felt in a baby momma kinda way. lol
Overall i felt disrespected because i felt that i was willing to try to work it out and make something happen out of it but he clearly wasent.

time has passed and our son is 4 months old. sooo we talk and then he tells me "tiff, were building." i juss dont understand. i mean i love him with all my heart but i dont get it?! i dont understand how we are building if hes dating someone else.

wouldnt that confuse to as well??

i mean i juss dont understand i juss dont get why date anyone else if ur tryna make it work with me and you. ugh! im ultimatly frustrated. but its koo tho. lol.

Y i blog.

i guess i should write a blog that explains why i blog. and why i express the way i do.
thru the whole 22 years of my life i have gone thru sooo much, i cant even explain it all.

ppl that know me know that writing is the only way i can get all that i need to get out and really show my real expression.
i stay in my zone. with my music. so i feel that if i juss express myself on paper or on the internet then a really good deep song will come out of this.

my joy is my son. and no matter how much i fight it my sons father is who i want. ugh!!!!
sooo they are my amuse' they are who i write about and why i write about them.
they make the tru tiffani nicole come out. weather or not ppl like it. im all about being real. and i feel like these blogs are juss as real as it gets.

i smile because i woke up this morning. i smile because my son smiles back. i smile because me and my sons father are friends again.
there are days that are downfalls for me. but shit who doesnt have a bad day? but thru my bad day is creativity, is uniquness, and i dont make excuses for my bad days i make memories. i make my life better i never dwell on what is not needed to be dwelled on.

soo if you wanted to know thats why i blog. and i enjoy it. i mean i blog about other ish but those two are my main reasons.

out with the new in with the OLD...

its crazy how the world is. and how the LORD allows ur emotions to take a turn for the worst or the best depending on the situation.
i was in one of the best relationships i could ever dream about but clearly that wasent who i was suppose to be with. but why is it that when u find urself really happy theres someone that comes back into ur life and changes everything?? lucky for me EX ot the vibe and ended b4 i did. for the second time. blah!
the good thing is, me and my sons father is workin things out. not in a relationship manner but juss in general. were friends again and i cant complain.
hes honestly showing me the guy i fell in love with when i met him. crazy how it works.

i thought i was in love with my ex again and i really thought it would work. but he has issues he needs to deal with and i clearly have issues that i need to deal with. but the fact that he didnt want to deal with them together and juss run away again, thats what clearly let me know that i cant do this anymore. i cant keep jumpin back n fourth and puttin myself on that emotional rollercoster.


lifes what u make of it, and i choose to make my life an experience i'll never forget.

Keri Hilson has really made herself look like...

A DAMN FOOL!!!

that heffa got the nerve to knock the ones that helped her get where shes at. whats the point?? the last time i checked my president is BLACK. wheres the unity?

like i told my homegirl jacks how u hate on the ones that made u wanna come out. u wrote for them and u helped them with cause but why hate on them because they songs is number one and urs hasent even hit the charts??? wwwwhhhhhyyyy?!

as a musically inclined lady thats try'n to get out in the industry u have to have humilty and knock ya oride out the window and work to where u need to go. u aint ever heard beyonce and ciara on any remix dissin the ones that wrote for them sooo why put yaself out there to make the world see u as such. when u have to step on the heads of the ones thats helping you then ur no good. and no good comes out of ur music. in my opinion.

i think this remix in my opinion has tamper'd with the perception she was givin off when she came out wit her first single.

shame on u KERI. u lost a fan!